Prayers For Melissa

The Christmas season is pretty much over. The twelve days of Christmas ended last week, students are going back to school, and the vast majority of adults are heading back to work. That holiday spirit that accompanies Christmas melted away with the snow (in Indiana at least). With a heavy heart, families are beginning to take down their various Christmas decorations from their hooks on the wall and their places on the mantelpiece. For the Espiritu house in New Castle, I never put up those decorations in the first place.

December is a hectic time for the Espiritu house. Early in the month, I have a major bible quiz for which I have to prepare, and by the time that’s over, final exams are in full swing, and I’m swamped for the remainder of the quarter, especially since this was my first semester of mostly college-level classes. Dad is overwhelmed with Advent season preparation for multiple churches, and it can sometimes feel like there’s not a second of rest. Classes didn’t end until the 20th, and I was exhausted by the end of it. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling the happiness of the holidays until my family got here. By the time they did, however, it was too late to make the house nice, and I felt like I hadn’t done my part to make the place feel more festive. Thankfully, our big celebration was in Lansing at my sister’s house this year, so most of the pressure was off.

    Even though I didn’t feel that pressure, every time I walked through the unadorned rooms at the end of every monotonous day, I couldn’t help but wish I had the time and energy to deck the halls of my house with boughs of holly and make it look a lot like Christmas. Momma was never much of a decorator, but she did her best to make her house feel like a home. Truthfully, even though in the last ten years my sisters and I have tried to maintain that sentiment, every year since Momma’s death it feels less and less homey to me, especially in the past two years without any sisters around. 

    When my sisters are around, though, my heart is full, and I feel like I’m in my childhood home again, and ultimately I know that matters more than any trees, lights, or holly that I could put up in their absence. That doesn’t mean I didn’t wish it was different, though. Every time I have to motivate myself to face that never ending task of trying to keep up with chores, or every trip or tour I take in other people’s places that are filled to the brim with decor – those are some of the times that I miss Momma the most. 

-Sara Joy

~ by Sara Espiritu on January 15, 2020.

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